Friday, July 27, 2012

Getting Real...

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 Today is going to be a bit different than my usual light posts! I've spent a lot of time these last few months covering up daily woes in life with fluff - pretty clothes, favorite shows, and neverending lists of gorgeous wants & needs! And while those things are ok and always lovely, I post about them because they are me, but I don't know how to work in the other parts of who I am. The parts that aren't always so fun & happy. When someone comes to my blog, I want them to take a break from their mind. It might seem like I'm not that deep, but I like to keep my blog as a distraction from the mundane bits of life. From the worries and the stresses. I'm not saying my life is bad. But like anyone else, there are things I definitely stress about! So today it's time for me to knock down those pretty little walls and open up a bit...

I haven't spoken too much about the Holistic Nutrition school I attended. I graduated this past February from the Holistic Health Coach program at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Because I was dealing with various Health issues (nothing super serious) last year, I had a lot of ups and downs throughout the program. But I really do think that going through it during those difficult times really helped me! I truly did enjoy the program, but there were times that I was very overwhelmed. You find yourself considering all of these different point of views, questioning things in your life that you thought were pretty concrete. The next thing you know, you're trying new things, loving new things and you also become confused about some things. The thing about learning a more organic, natural approach is that once you know what you know.... it's hard to go back to who you were before. Not that I would want to at all. But sometimes ignorance definitely can be bliss!

At the end of the program I thought I had everything planned out. I was working towards opening a Healthy Lifestyling business. I had all of these grand plans. And then.... I became very overwhelmed with the stresses of life and I put a wall up. Here's a major tidbit about me. I'm a perfectionist. Bigtime. I'm def one of the "go big or go home" mentality. I don't like to do things halfway. I think at the time I was starting to put the wheels in motion for this business, underneath it all I just wasn't ready to "go big"! The thing about becoming a Health Coach is that while it's extremely rewarding and beneficial, it isn't just a career, it's a lifestyle change. I mean you can't exactly help others make big changes in life while you're off in a secret corner stuffing your face with Chick Fil A! Not saying I do that.... ; )

So a few months have gone by since I stuffed by big plans. Another thing about me is that I'm kind of a split personality. No, not like Sybil. Though she had many personalities from what I remember. Anyway.... I've mentioned this before, and it's a daily struggle for me. I feel like I'm two people at times. The J.Crew/Anthro loving, beauty obsessed magpie that loves to entertain and cook big italian dinners and isn't worried whether the chicken is organic or whether there's dairy in that. And then there's the girl that loves green juice and limits gluten & meat, that throws on the boho maxi dress & puts on the 100% natural lip shine to go out and radiates health. I'm a combination of these two women and I try to embrace it and make it work every day. More and more I realize that in a way, this is who I've always been. In HS I was preppy in the Fall & Winter, but once summer came I dyed my hair blonde and lived in bikini's, surfwear and beach clothes. I wasn't healthy back then in any sense of the word (though I might have looked it), but I see that my roots & split interests are still the same.

So as of right now I'm pondering my future. After a couple months of letting go of the changes that after a year started to overwhelm me, I'm starting to ease back into them. I haven't been eating terrible, but I will say that once I got out of my healthy routine, this is probably the most unhealthy I've felt in a while. I have realized that there needs to be balance. And there are some things I still really care about, and others I just accept are beyond my control and realize that I don't need to care that much. Unfortunately, in this messed up world we live in, I feel that it's hard to take a certain stance on health and still enjoy life to the fullest. It's def a challenge, but one I'm willing to accept and help others transition through as well.

I'm taking things very slow right now and am in the research stages! I'm not really considering being a Health Coach, but more of a Natural Beauty/Detox Lifestyle Coach. We'll see..... No set plans right now, just exploring!!! Expect to see some changes here on the blog, but not too much. I'm still the same girl you all know, you'll still see my fav show recaps, lust lists, and of course, Last Thing Thursdays (even though I forgot this week!), I'll just be showing more of my green, healthy side ; ) Happy Friday & thanks for listening!!!