Can't Look Away by Carola Lovering - A Book Review

Title: Can't Look Away
Author: Carola Lovering
Genre: Thriller
Pages: 320 pages
Pub Date: June 14, 2022
My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Book Details from the Publisher:

From the author of Tell Me Lies and Too Good to Be True comes Carola Lovering's Can't Look Away, a sexy suspense novel about the kind of addictive, obsessive love that keeps you coming back––no matter how hard you try to look away.

In 2013, twenty-three-year-old Molly Diamond is a barista, dreaming of becoming a writer. One night at a concert in Brooklyn, she locks eyes with the lead singer, Jake Danner, and can’t look away. Molly and Jake fall quickly and deeply in love, especially after he writes a hit song about her that puts his band on the map.

Nearly a decade later, Molly has given up writing and is living in Flynn Cove, Connecticut with her young daughter and her husband Hunter—who is decidedly not Jake Danner. Their life looks picture-perfect, but Molly is lonely; she feels out of place with the other women in their wealthy suburb and is struggling to conceive their second child. When Sabrina, a newcomer in town, walks into the yoga studio where Molly teaches and confesses her own fertility struggles, Molly believes she's finally found a friend.

But Sabrina has her own reasons for moving to Flynn Cove and befriending Molly. And as Sabrina’s secrets are slowly unspooled, her connection to Molly becomes clearer––as do secrets of Molly's own, which she’s worked hard to keep buried.

Meanwhile, a new version of Jake's hit song is on the radio, forcing Molly to confront her past and ask the ultimate questions: What happens when life turns out nothing like we thought it would, when we were young and dreaming big? Does growing up mean choosing with your head, rather than your heart? And do we ever truly get over our first love?

My Review:

Being a sucker for a good thriller, I was immediately sucked in after reading the plot of Can't Look Away. I couldn't wait to get my hands on this book and as soon as I did, I couldn't dig in fast enough. Once I started reading, I got sucked in and had a really hard time putting it down. I found myself taking breaks to live my life but couldn't wait to get back to the world of Molly & Jake. One of the things I loved most about this book, is that while classified as a Thriller, it has so many layers beyond that. The character development was outstanding. You really get a feel for each character and can almost picture them as if you're watching a movie. In my opinion, the best books are those that you can't remember if you read it or watched it! 

It's hard to really get into what I loved most without giving too much away, but I feel like Can't Look Away is just as much of a love story as it is a thriller. If one or the other is not your usual cup of tea, give it a chance, I promise you, the love is all necessary for the thrill! Everything in this book just progressed so well and was so well done. It truly got to my core, touched me in so many moments, and because I'm such a romantic at heart, it was really gut-wrenching for me at times. I got so attached to the characters and fell in love with Jake right along with Molly. This was one of the best books I had read in a long time and one of the few I would read again at some point. In fact, I think it would make an excellent movie or mini-series - fingers crossed!!! (Speaking of books to Tv/Movies….  One of my absolute favorite things to do when I fall in love with a book, is to cast it in my mind! I came across this site last year where you can do just that. Check out my stories and let me know if you agree)

The only slight negative that I have is that I was so torn throughout the story. But that's my selfish feelings, not any reflection whatsoever on the Author or her beautiful book. Being torn means you feel things and feeling things for people that only exist in a story is only possible while reading an exceptionally good book! Carola Lovering truly delivers. There was anguish, disbelief, anger, sadness, and even tears, which doesn't happen often for me! 

About the Author (from her website):

Carola Lovering is the author of the novels Tell Me Lies, Too Good to Be True, and the forthcoming Can’t Look Away. She attended Colorado College, and her work has appeared in New York Magazine, W Magazine, National Geographic, Outside, and Yoga Journal, among other publications. Her novel, Tell Me Lies, is currently being adapted into a television series for Hulu. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and son.

also find her on: twitter - instagram - facebook

Ps - I was so excited to see that Tell Me Lies is being adapted into a TV Series on Hulu! I had read this book a couple years ago and really enjoyed it. Can't Look Away is not due to release until 6/14/22, so make sure to check out Carola's other books before you pre-order!!!

So many thanks to St. Martin's Press and NetGalley for providing me the ARC of this amazing book to review! And thanks to Carola for creating such beautiful people and stories!! 

I'm Back!

Wow! I really can't believe it's been over two years since my last blog post!! So much has happened in the world between then and now, it truly feels like a lifetime ago. I know I've popped in here from time to time over the last several years and have had grand plans of relaunching my blog, but this time I'm so excited that I can actually follow through with that plan! Me and my family came down with C*vid right after the Holiday (who didn't, right?!) and I had a tough time. I ended up with pneumonia and long-haul, while, my Husband and Son felt like they had a bad cold for two days and sailed on through. For me, it was one of the most weird, scary experiences, and while sparing this from turning into a C*vid post, I believe that my past issues with Mold Illness and Epstein-Barr are to blame for the severity of my illness. The point of this story is that because of my Long-Haul, I resigned from my job. 

Now I'll finally have the time to do all the things I want with this blog. I'm super excited because writing has always been a bit cathartic for me, and I could honestly use that right now. You'll definitely be seeing a lot more posts from me! Think Book Reviews (this will most likely be one of, if not the first official post), Organic Beauty posts, Wellness Gadgets, Healthy Recipes, and whatever else I feel like posting about! I'm also considering possibly moving this blog to Wordpress or Squarespace. If you have some experience with this or have any thoughts on it, please feel free to drop a comment below or reach out to me! I would love some honest feedback. 

I'm really looking forward to getting back into this again! I already feel more like myself as I type. Look for an exciting Book Review soon!!!

Intellipure Ultrafine 468 Air Purification System - A Review

Hi, lovelies! I had posted about my Mold Story earlier in the week and wanted to do a separate post about this amazing Air Purifier I purchased. As I had said in the closing of my post, indoor air quality is becoming a major issue and the EPA is rating it the number 1 environmental risk facing humans, and not just because of mold! Ultrafine Particles, carbon monoxide, lead from paint and other chemicals in our consumer products, as well as dust, pollen, mold spores, and VOC's are quickly degrading our air, and not everyone has the knowledge or the funds to help combat this by avoiding certain contaminants. As much as I commit to living a very healthy lifestyle, I really can't afford an organic sofa and cork flooring. Not that there's anything wrong with these things - I would love them in my home! It's just not a possibility in my life at the moment. And with the environment changing constantly, it's almost impossible to completely avoid these things unless you live in a bubble! This is where things like air purification come in. It's an easy way to help improve the air quality in your home and also the health of you and your loved ones.

As far as research goes, I had my work cut out for me! I looked all over the internet, scouring article after article. I found this post on Surviving Mold especially helpful, because it talked about mold & mycotoxins, specifically. After really researching and being so sick at the time, I even ordered a pretty pricey unit after thinking I had finally found "the one" and promptly sent it back after having many issues from receiving one of the few units with a manufacturers defect. All I can say is, do your homework! But hopefully you don't have to, because this one is the bees knees.

In my search there were quite a few things I was looking for & were absolute requirements...

- Filters particles down to the smallest possible, including Mycotoxins & VOC's

- No or Low EMF's coming off the unit with running

- No ionizing of any kind, as to avoid ozone

- No hydroxyl technology, as the research states that the byproducts of this can be harmful

- ease of use, moveable from room to room, and energy efficient

- Cost of unit and also cost of replacement filters was also a factor

After my bad experience with the previous company, and the fact that I needed to find a stellar purifier since we decided to stay in our home, I decided that I was willing to pay a little more than initially intended. I just wanted to purchase a unit that would give us the best air quality we could find. I came across a review on Intellipure in that mold site article and I decided to start looking into them. I was extremely impressed with their DFS technology ,the filtration down to .007 microns, and the fact that they are also medical-grade and utilized in hospitals, medical clean rooms, government buildings, and military applications! After a lot of thinking I went with the bigger Ultrafine 468 model and am so glad I did! Some of advantages of this unit include:

Product Performance:

• Patented DFS Technology- deactivates mold, bacteria, and virus in the filters through Microbiostasis condition, which prohibits the breed through effect, where living organisms captured can grow inside the filter and be released back into the environment
• Proprietary blend of granulars proven to adsorb a high level of gases and odors
• Greater lifetime filter performance due to lower density media, resulting in much longer lifetime performance of the filter
• Reduction of dangerous Micro-plastics
• High level reduction of mycotoxins
• Highly effective on all speeds

Product Features:

• Highest-quality EC motor results in 50% less operating cost than other machines on the market
• Incredibly energy efficient
• Highest CFM per decibel level or noise
• Less dense media filters for maximum airflow and filtration power
• Quick and easy filter maintenance and replacement
• Individually tested and certified, guaranteed to be 40x more efficient than HEPA

I've had my unit since September 19th (funny enough, this is my birthday) and I absolutely love it!!! It has different levels of purification, meaning you can adjust it to pull in air on the low side, or on as high as turbo if you want to put it in a room and leave it. I wouldn't recommend this high if you're in the room, because Turbo mode is a little loud!! I was actually quite surprised at how quiet it is in the normal modes. Even on the middle setting, with it right next to me sleeping, it just sounded like white noise. And I'm a light sleeper!

The air quality is fantastic! I noticed a huge difference almost immediately. Because of the issues in our home and the fact that we couldn't run our central A/C all summer, some rooms would get humid and the allergens would really kick up. The Ultrafine 468 helped me with this immediately. I would wake up with asthma, horrible sore throats, and congestion and this went away once I started running my unit. It also helped with air circulation in my stuffy room. Even my cats love it. I'll find them hanging out in my bedroom when the unit is in there, because the air was is so clean. The bad air quality even effects our pets.

The technology of Intellipure units is also really quite amazing. They utilize DFS Technology, which does not emit any ozone, gases, or other harmful byproducts. This short video explains it really well!



A further testament to how well this unit really works, though I wouldn't recommend this at all, is that when we had our remediation done last week, after they fogged our ducts, we ran the unit in my bedroom, to make sure the chemical vapors wouldn't be bad once we turned on the central air. Both fortunately and unfortunately, this worked really well! My room was definitely the least offensive as far as smell and contamination - I'm extremely chemical-sensitive. But the problem was that the unit worked so well sucking up the VOC's coming into the air from our ducts airing out, that it ruined 2 portions of filters - the prefilter and the VOC filter. There's no denying exactly how well the 468 works after this, but it's a bummer that I have to replace those filters. For that reason, I wouldn't recommend using it for things such as airing out a room after painting, laying down new carpet and wanting to minimize off-gassing (at least not immediately following installation), etc. Good old-fashioned open windows is good for that, and your wallet, too!

So as far as pro's to all of the Intellipure units, there's a million! I love mine, would consider getting the smallest one at some point for my sons room, or if I get the extra money, possibly the whole-house unit! I can't recommend it enough and it has absolutely saved me during such an awful time in my life. It makes me feel so much better knowing that it works so well to give myself and my family clean air to breathe. As far as any negatives, the only things that come to mind are cost for some. The units are a little on the high side, as are the replacement filters. But.... In this case, especially after having a bad experience with another fairly high priced purifier, I think you absolutely get what you pay for and I feel that any of the Intellipure models are worth every penny. DFS Technology is pretty amazing and I'm sure it's costly to manufacture units. And the filters don't need to be replaced as often as other units (annually for some and semi-annually for others), so definitely less than other units out there. There are also sensors alerting you when it's time to replace each filter. So no guessing! This can also save some money, as most units require guessing and you're either replacing too early, or running the risk of recirculating contaminants into the air with dirty filters.

If you have any questions on my experience with Intellipure, please let me know! I'm happy to give you honest feedback! And for more technical questions, the company offers amazing customer service - another huge plus!!!

Make sure to stop back soon to check out some more rec's on how I'm continuing to keep my home clean &  mold-free!

ps - this is not a sponsored post. This unit was purchased by me and all opinions are my own.

What's been going on - My Mold Story

Wow.... Has it really been well over a year since my last post?!?! I know I haven't been good at posting on here the last several years AT ALL, but I really do want to change that. What started out as an unintentional hiatus, turned into more and more time between posts, and then just... well... Life.

In my last post I was talking about all my health issues & struggles, and at the time, I just figured it was the stresses going on in my life that triggered everything. I had no idea what could have started this horrible snowballing of health problems, when I had been so healthy - probably the most healthy I had ever been in my life!! As much as I know about many things with health, I just never put some things together in my head. I was running this constant hamster wheel and had tunnel vision with one laser focus, and that was getting better!

Little did I know, that my tuning everything out, would delay my healing and put my life in a major upside down turmoil. This is where Mold comes in. Yes.... Mold. The nasty stuff you see growing on food and sometimes elsewhere. Mold was in my basement and I had no idea until I was already exposed and sick from it. And even though I knew Mold makes me sick (I'm highly allergic to at least 9 strains of mold), I had no idea what Mold sickness even was! And I never put two and two together.

So around the time that I first became ill, unbeknownst to me, my Air Conditioner had leaked all over a part of my basement that I couldn't see. It was in an area that I never walk back into and we had so much going on in life at that time, I really just went downstairs to work out in my "basement gym" on the other side and to do laundry. Sometimes I wouldn't feel great after being down there, but it was also a terrible allergy season, and I figured that was the issue. Even when I got a strange rash, even when the dead of winter hit and I started getting heart palpitations, and vertigo and all these strange things out of the blue, other than a weird basement smell, I had no idea. The following spring, when we put the air back on, I started having major issues - I got shingles and then a mono reactivation (which I talked about here). At that point, I was not able to workout at all, so I was no longer going in the basement. I still made no connection. Finally, one day we went in the basement and saw it and started contacting our homeowner's insurance to try to get it squared away. That experience alone between then and now, could fill a book. We got our moldy A/C replaced and a remediation company finally came out a few months later. We thought all was fine. Fast Forward to Spring 2019 when we go to turn on the A/C - moldy smell coming through the vents and I start having issues immediately, including..... ding ding ding - another Mono Reactivation! Come to find out, our ducts should have been included in the remediation, and the remediation itself, wasn't completed at all. Not only was there still mold, but it was a major issue.

In a nutshell, we tried to file a lawsuit. We had a case, but unfortunately, it's extremely hard to prove that medical issues are linked to mold without testing from your regular MD, and them signing off legally that you are sick from mold. Even if you have one that doesn't brush you off, a lot of the tests, at least where I live, are no longer done by labs. And most conventional MD's, at least Family Doctors, aren't versed in mold illness to be able to even understand some of the covered tests that can indicate illness from exposure. Anyway, long story short.... because of the fact that I could find no one to test me (I tried Internists, Allergists, Immunologists, and Infectious Disease Doc's), other than ND's which cost thousands out of pocket, we had to drop it. Honestly, at this point I've moved on from that. I think holding onto things and having to constantly relive things through telling Doctors, and a Lawyer, the story over and over, just wasn't healthy for me. So you might be wondering how I finally made the connection. An amazing ND that I follow on Instagram was talking about Epstein Barr Virus and Mono Reactivations, and the link to mold exposure. After learning more and more, and especially after having another mono reactivation right after being around mold, I realized this was my issue!

There is so much more to it, but it's way too much to type on here. It involves possibly moving, almost walking away from our home, and literally almost losing my mind. But luckily, other than the basement, the rest of our home wasn't too bad, and it wasn't Mycotoxin producing molds upstairs. This made it where we were able to salvage things and stay, which was good, because we really had no choice. Some people aren't so lucky, and they literally have to leave their homes with little belongings because everything is contaminated. Other than losing pretty much every belonging in our basement, we are ok and are so lucky!

We actually just got our basement remediated this past Monday, along with our HVAC and duct system, and we are all good! No more mold!!! So now, at this point, you might be wondering if you have mold, or if you know you do, you want to know how bad it is or what kind it is, etc. There are many tests out there that you can do yourself, and even though these tests are less than Environmental testing, if you have a big area or a potential major issue, call a professional. You want to go with a standalone testing company that does not do remediation. When they do both, this can create a conflict of interest. You are much better off calling just a testing company. It can be costly, but if this is a major issue, especially where your health might be concerned, it's worth it!

When it comes to remediation's (after having two companies screw us over), make sure you do your research!!! Make a list of companies in your area and look at websites, facebook, yelp, google reviews etc. Read every single one! Look for certifications and most important, a warranty. Make sure you do consults if they offer it, so you can get a feel for them in person. And if they come to your property to do a major remediation, and don't block off the moldy area and start putting protective suits on - kick them out. I mean it!

There is so much more in the world of mold to talk about, but for my friends on here that aren't into it, I'll spare you. Air quality, in general, is the next big world issue. This is already an epidemic, whether you realize it or not, and is just going to get worse over time. I solved this issue in my home, and will be doing a separate post on that this week.

In the meantime, if you have mold issues or think you might, and you have questions about my experience - drop them in the comments! I'm happy to help however I can. It's my hope that maybe by sharing my story, I might be able to help anyone that might be going through something similar. It's honestly crazy how many people out there are struggling because of mold exposure! I also post regularly on Instagram, so look for me on there, too!!

Check back soon for a review on the gadget I'm using in my home to combat poor air quality! And also some future posts about what I'm doing in my home to keep it mold-free and to combat my mold illness.

Mourning Myself- dealing with chronic illness

Hi Babes! Obviously I don't get one here much lately. I've been dealing with a lot health-wise and just haven't been able to bring myself to post anything for quite a while. After I was sick, I planned to do a post sharing my story, but after a while I just got so exhausted with all the appointments, talking about it, thinking about it.... I just couldn't bring myself to do it. The gist of it is that I haven't been feeling great since before the Holidays last year. I ended up in the ER the week or two before Christmas with vertigo, shortness of breath, and abdominal pain. Everything checked out ok for the most part. Just some minor things that I've since addressed. I started feeling ok a couple months later, but never really got back to myself.

Fast forward a couple months and I end up with an ear infection (haven't had one since I was a child), and was put on antibiotics for weeks. I actually hate going on them because of all the things they can do to your gut, but the pain was bad and I couldn't hear out of one ear, so there was no way I was chancing anything. Shortly after my second round, I got Shingles. And everything went downhill from there. After being on antivirals and my shingles started to clear up, I really got sick. My throat swelled up and felt like I had the worst case of strep throat in my life. Every lymph node in my body swelled. I had headaches, vertigo, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, could barely get out of bed and was the most sick I had ever been in my life. The Doctors didn't know what to make of it and with all the questions they were asking me, with a tiny bit of fear in their eyes that they couldn't hide, I knew Lymphoma was on the table. Luckily, that was not the case!!

However, since I had been reading Medical Medium on my holiday break, Epstein Barr came to the front of my mind. Thankfully, the Nurse Practitioner I see is amazing, and after pressing it, she added an Epstein Barr panel to my battery of tests. It turns out, I was correct. I had Mono in High School, so I knew I had a past infection, which did show on the panel, but I also had a current active infection as well, which seemed to turn into Mononucleosis. And before you think that you can't get Mono twice, or even shingles twice, you absolutely can - I'm living proof of that.

Armed with a wealth of information from Anthony William (the Medical Medium) I started on his food and supplement protocol. I eliminated all of the virus-feeding foods, and took most of the supplements or teas he recommended - Berberine, Monoluarin, Oregano Oil capsules, Vit C, and my typical vits, and also Lemon Balm Tea. I got my infection mostly into remission. I say mostly, because as of late, I'm not feeling well again and I don't know if it's due to the infection being mildly active or from the damage it's done. Constant exhaustion, headaches, hair thinning and loss, and weight gain isn't fun.

Which brings me to the purpose of this post. The part where I feel sorry for myself, as well as anyone else out there battling chronic invisible illness. I mourn for myself. I mourn for the old me. The woman, who just a year ago, was able to run 30+ miles a week, and was able to  do plyometrics and lift weights several times a week, every week. The me who was in the best shape of her life. And now, I'm lucky if I can even come home from my part-time job and do something other than getting in my bed for a nap. I'm sad. I'm angry. And I don't know why things like this happen. I've always been a person that is passionate about health. It's just not fair. But I know deep inside that I'll figure it out. I'll rally and start making appointments again, start getting all the tests done, and I will get to the bottom of it. I'm thankful that it wasn't something worse. My heart breaks for anyone that has major health battles. I know how this feels, I can't fathom something worse.

And at the very least, I hope my story helps someone going through the same thing realize that you aren't alone. There are many of us with these viral issues and with autoimmune diseases that they cause. I hope that any bit of information, from the things that I did to get better or just sharing my story, could possibly help someone else. If you are someone struggling, I strongly suggest you read Medical Medium. Anthony is not your average Health advocate. However, he knows his stuff and I've done the research to back up every bit of information in his books. Even if you don't follow his entire protocol, the main points being followed like I did, can be a huge help. Push for the tests you need, research optimal results (not just the lab results), and be your own advocate. I can't stress this enough!

I hope you don't mind me feeling a little sorry for myself. Some days it's just not easy. But I'm thankful for the self I do have and I'm hoping this all will pass some day. Just know, if you are going through something similar - I'm here for you. Leave me a comment, reach out to me on Instagram, or shoot me an email! There's strength in numbers and we can support each other!